by MotherWit | Mar 22, 2010 | Uncategorized
I just sent off my registration to the trainer of the CAPPA Lactation Education course coming up here in Montreal in April. I am quite excited about this. I am a former La Leche League Leader, have been a doula for quite a while, and personally spent 17 years breastfeeding and/or pregnant (tandem nursing, child led weaning, all that)… so I’m pretty handy with the boob. With this experience along with my perinatal massage work, I have probably had my hands on over 500 sets of breasts, and have educated verbally near twice that. In fact, I teach others how to help with basic breastfeeding. But there is always room for more learning.
I think it is extremely important to keep educating oneself. I occasionally go to conferences on lactation…I LOVE conferences. There is one coming up this spring in Quebec City on Kangaroo Care which I am dying to go to, but am unable because the volume of clients I already have booked up for them. It’s quite hard being booked around 8 months in advance, because planning things becomes quite a challenge….I was already booked before I knew about the conference. Anyhow, I was so happy to hear of this opportunity, because there are new studies and approaches always coming out, and I think a birth attendant should be kept up to date. The doulas on my team are also taking this course (except for Kimberley, who is already a board certified lactation consultant).
If you birth workers out there get the opportunity to do trainings here and there, do them! Even if you don’t choose to do the certifications (which I probably won’t in this case), the knowledge will be with you. You will always learn something. It’s important to never get too complacent with your knowledge. If you don’t keep up to date, you’re going to start having clients ask you about studies and techniques you’ve never heard of. Thanks to CAPPA, for this opportunity to increase my knowledge base and enhance my skills.
by MotherWit | Mar 18, 2010 | Uncategorized
I want to announce an amazing fundraising event that will be taking place on April 11th, 2010, from 9am to 5pm in Montreal. Dr. Lewish Mehl-Madrona, author of Coyote Medicine and several other wonderful books on the subject of healing ourselves and our culture through storytelling, will be leading a workshop called Birth and Healing: Healing and Birth.
With Dr. Mehl-Madrona, and I quote “we will explore birth as metaphor. Birth is an ultimate symbol for change and transformation. Birth represents a physiological reality in which metaphor and biology meet. Metaphors of release, surrender, ‘going with the flow’, and energy are all helpful to giving birth. We will challenge the conventional birth crisis stories, embedded in the language ‘failure to progress’, ‘incompetent cervix’ being ‘sectioned’, membranes ‘rupturing’. By exploring these metaphors we can learn more about how to help women give birth and how to help anyone birth a new self, a transformation, a change. Midwives and doulas manage energy without interference or obstruction. Healing requires this same type of management. We will explore how the training of midwives and doulas is ideal for becoming involved in all kinds of healing. We will explore through role playing, re-enactments, and other techniques being ‘midwives of healing’ for conditions other than birth. Guided imagery and visualization will help us in these explorations.
We will explore how giving birth and the work and preparation required to do so, can be healing for women on multiple levels.”
Rivka Cymbalist, founder of Montreal Birth Companions, is a dear friend of mine, and MotherWit Doula Care is committed to helping promote fundraising events and gathering donations where we can to support this essential service. This is a message from Rivka to everyone who wishes to contibute to potentially improving a birth experience for a woman of need: “Help us fund the Montreal Birth Companions. Montreal Birth Companions is a non-profit, non-funded organization. We provide doula services to low-income and otherwise disadvantaged women and we train doulas within ethnically or culturally isolated areas of the city. Our goals are to provide women with doulas who are sensitive to particular needs, and to provide low and no-income women with education and a valid means of support.
Our organization is not government funded and relies on donors to provide support for seriously disadvantaged women.
All profits from the Birth Workshop will go towards paying doulas to accompany needy women during childbirth. Larger donations are eligible for a tax receipt. For information see:
http://montrealbirthcompanions.homestead.com/”
Location:Centre Communitaire, 6767 Côte-des-Neiges, Montreal, QC, H3S 2T6
Contact: Rivka Cymbalist
Montreal Birth Companions
montrealbirthcompanions@yahoo.ca
or
lewismehlmadrona@gmail.com
On a personal note, I am very excited about attending this workshop. I am big fan of Dr. Mehl-Madrona’s work, and feel he has contributed much to my approach to holding the space for a birthing woman. I used to have somewhat preconceived notions in my mind..”oh, that lady was born by C-section…she’s probably going to have a really rough birth,” or “wow, she experienced sexual abuse in the past. We’re going to run into problems.” or, “the more emotionally clear you are and the calmer your approach to birth, the more you are guaranteed of a good outcome.” Many are aware of the quantum physics theory which states that an object changes according to who is observing it. Well, I knew that giving birth in an environment which uses disempowering language like “I delivered my patient”, or “to go through natural birth is barbaric” definitely had an impact on women, but I didn’t consider that my having a preconceived story could potentially create self-fulfilling prophesies as well. Though we many not be so powerful as individuals to totally derail a birth with our thoughts, people’s energies influence each others’, and can subtly shape how a woman perceives her birth giving abilities and her birth experience.
Now when I have clients with serious challenges, I don’t project those thoughts at all. Our culture already has enough stories to categorize people. I prefer to come with a clear mind and the feeling in my heart that the intense birthing energy is beyond definition and prediction in terms of how the birth will go or how a woman will cope. We just need to be skilled, clinicians and support people alike, to deal with whatever comes up. I can hold the space for a woman in labour, outline some options, talk through challenges, make her more comfortable, and support choices, but Birth is pretty much in charge. Birth can be a tremendous Healer, bring women joy and empowerment unparalleled. Sometimes, Birth is a tough Mother, and can illuminate areas where we need to grow. And sometimes we cannot interpret it at all..it is up to the woman to make meaning of her experience and our job to connect her to those places she was graceful and powerful where she could be, giving her a richer sense of her resources from which to draw healing.
When I let go of any stories that didn’t support the here and now (but rather projected into the future), I saw amazing things. Women who considered themselves “damaged” birthed like dynamos. Women who themselves were born traumatically felt very safe and nourished in labour and had no problems. Some who were hard driving athletes, seemingly devoid of much vulnerability, birthed as gently as lambs. Conversely, some who felt very clear and open to me had lots of challenges. And vice versa on all of those scenarios. I don’t think it’s because my thought process magically made the birth better, it’s more that I probably didn’t notice before how great things were going in some “risky” births because I was clinging to my hypotheses, perhaps focusing more on the negative, and creating a story from that. Perhaps my notions prevented me from providing support in a way that could have helped things for the better.
We have tremendous power to change the fearful feelings surrounding birth in our culture. Ina May Gaskin had her finger on the pulse when writing Spiritual Midwifery and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth….half those books are chock full of stories…powerful, amazing birth stories! They’re not all sweetness and light…there are stories of challenge and even loss. But they are stories of triumph and compassion all the same. Our culture is starving for these stories. How many times do I reread those stories when I’m pregnant, connecting with those images of power? Ina May and her people at The Farm created their own collective idea of birth as a woman centred, normal, healthy event which could absolutely be achieved with minimal intervention most of the time. They weren’t being cavalier either…they believed in excellent clinical skills and medical back-up, acknowledging Birth’s unpredictability sometimes. But those few incidents of emergency did not warp their belief. They continued to approach birth with strength, little fear, and positively…they were prepared, yes, but paranoid, no. And they prove this theory of the effect of a culture’s positive approach to birthing, balanced with skilled care, with the outstanding statistics they continue to enjoy.
So next time you hear a friend telling another friend, “I can’t believe you want a natural birth..you’re going to be BEGGING for ‘your’ epidural the second it gets hard.” or “Oh my God, your belly is so HUGE! You should have a C-section otherwise your lady bits will be destroyed!” look your pregnant buddy in the eye, smile, and say, “your body is amazing, and well designed to birth just great!” You can do your part to contribute to our wounded birth culture’s healing by not adding to the horror stories. Also, telling a woman who has just had a C-section, “hmmm, maybe if you hadn’t had an epidural (or induction, or birthed in a hospital, or had done more emotional work, insert condition here) you wouldn’t have needed a C-section, does not promote healing at all. Just because you are on the natural birth boat doesn’t mean you are necessarily healing. It’s possible your opinions are judgements, and don’t help compassion grow, which is what’s ultimately needed. We can be both VERY pro natural birth, AND very compassionate and non-judmental towards women who have experienced different birth journeys. To be compassionate is not necessarily to enable what you may think is misguided thinking.
My personal “thank you” to Lewis Mehl-Madrona for having inspired many a period of deep thought for me about the power of story and images in birth, and “thank you” to Rivka for pulling this all together!
If you don’t live in Montreal, but in somewhat surrounding areas, like Ottawa, near-the-border towns in Vermont and New York, you should try to make it. You will be receiving a lot of important learning, and helping women having more nourishing births.
by MotherWit | Mar 18, 2010 | Uncategorized
I just had a nice email conversation with a lady whom I am very exited about having in my doula training this summer, and she said, “thank you for sharing your doulawit,” which I think is a really sweet, but powerful phrase. MotherWit means “intuitive knowledge” and “practical wisdom”, a phrase I absolutely love. I was turned onto it when I read the book Motherwit about Mrs. Logan, an Alabama “granny” midwife. If doulas have a specific brand of wisdom (and I think we do, given our skills focus on being non-clinically observant, intuiting what a woman needs specifically for her emotional and physical comfort), I guess it is doulawit. Thanks to Odette for that. “Wit” is such a great, all purpose word tag. When I cook up a fantastic meal (if I do say so myself), I am a kitchenwit. When I am tired and foggy, I am a dimwit. When I’m being particularly dense (probably while doing taxes), I’m invariably a nitwit. The “wit” I get, though the “nit” I’m not sure, unless it literally means having the wit of a nit (louse egg). You would agree if you saw me trying to do my taxes.
I met a lady yesterday who expressed to me how hard her last birth had been on her, how it had ended in C-section after 60 hours of labour and pushing for awhile. She had really really wanted a natural birth with a midwife, but it’s not the way the cookie crumbled. We talked about the epidural she received after a couple of nights up and little progress, and she cried with the memory of the profound relief she felt from the pain of relentless back labour. We validated that epidural. She wants a VBAC this time, but is concerned about going through what she truly experienced as suffering for a long time before deciding upon pain relief. This woman is an athlete…a very tough one, and like many women who are used to punishing their bodies for a result, birth can become a kind of self-competition. While these “pushing through” skills can work extremely well for a normal labour, when things get long and hard, it sometimes gets the better of us. I used to be a VERY competitive gymnast, so I know this firsthand. Just to make a bit of an analogy: One of the girls on my gymnastic team had terrible back pain. She was working on an uneven bar routine, and was so determined to get it perfect, she kept pushing through. She was in tears, talking to herself the whole time, and when people would come to ask if she was okay, she would shoo them away, saying she was fine, just trying to get the routine down…no matter what. Now if she was feeling good and was experiencing that great “burn” and “high” of a fantastic workout with the reward of getting her moves down, fabulous. But to be handicapped by injury, to be an emotional wreck, and to have no end in sight about the amount of times it’s going to take to do this routine to achieve the goal of getting these moves just right (and in fact probably won’t because the fatigue and injury reduce the likelihood of things improving any time soon), what is of all this “pushing through” about?
What would it have been like for this gymnast if she had had a loving coach who ever so gently took her hands, looked into her eyes, and said, “I know what a trooper you are. You are outstanding. I am concerned about how you’re feeling right now. Let’s talk about it a bit.” And maybe within that compassionate space that girl could get some perspective and say, “you know what? I’m in agony, and I don’t know what else to do.” And then they could talk about what she really wanted to do, as opposed to clinging to harsh expectations she was holding for herself. Perhaps all she’d need was a hug, a back rub, a good cry, then go back to the routine and get it down after awhile. Perhaps she’d discover a nap was the best thing. The important thing, would be to have someone listen to and care about her.
In this lady’s case (the pregnant woman, not the gymnast), the end result of her birth (aside, of course, the beauty of having a great kid and loving motherhood) is lingering feelings of not being sure of her body and afraid of taking up that “routine” again. While she is totally interested in moving through a normal birth unmedicated if this is how it unfolds, that place of misery she experienced, not realizing what it was until she had the perspective of pain relief, is something she is terrified of. I asked (paraphrasing), “what would it feel like to you if this birth could be about allowing yourself to feel truly nourished during labour…not to have the goal of muscling through a hardcore experience necessarily, but to become aware of your boundary between pain that works for you and suffering? What might it feel like if it could be okay for you to not feel like you’re punishing yourself physically at the potential expense of your emotional well being, and know that those around you will absolutely honour choices without question, encouraging you when you are happy to move forward, and encouraging if you decide to have a break?” More tears of relief.
My interest is in trying to hold the space for a woman who has experienced trauma in birth or in her life come to decisions that will be healing for her, honouring that the healing process is unique for every individual woman. Some people might think natural, or even vaginal birth is the panacea of healing for women who are traumatized, and while natural birth can certainly be a huge ray of healing light to many with its empowerment and joy, it is not always so. It’s so important for us as birth attendants to not project that as an absolute ideal.
Lesley
www.MotherWit.ca
by MotherWit | Mar 16, 2010 | Uncategorized
I am very very excited, because the possibility of finally going to Madagascar is upon me. As many of those who know me know, I have been wanting to do this trip for a couple of years. We are planning to go most likely in the month of September.
The lady behind this amazing project is Dr. Karen Samonds, who is Curator of the Redpath Museum at McGill University (among other varied and wonderful things, such as recent discoverer of an ancient, fossil sea cow!), and mother of 2 lovely girls, both of whom I’ve had the pleasure of seeing born. Karen and her husband Mitch live in Madagascar for several months of most years and do all kinds of cool things there, like studying lemurs, to put it very simply.
After experiencing the transformative process of childbirth herself, Karen started talking to the midwives in the area she and Mitch do their work in Mahatsinjo, Madagascar, learning a lot about their practices and the issues they deal with. Their approach to birth was something that touched Karen’s heart. She told me their thoughts about birth are very akin to those of doulas. There are also a lot of challenges, with very high maternal and newborn death rates. After doing some research and talking in depth to the midwives and mothers of the community, Karen gathered information about the areas of challenge women and babies experience in pregnancy, birth, postpartum, and early childhood, and thought there was a real opportunity for a great exchange of information between some friends from the west (myself and a family physician who catches babies at a hospital here in Montreal included), the midwives of Mahatsinjo, as well as physicians from the area.
The intent of this project will be, and I’m paraphrasing what Karen has outlined for me, a round table discussion about and identification of the main challenges in the reproductive health of the women of Mahatsinjo, and educational workshops by the international participants to complement traditional practices. The midwives are interested in empowering themselves wtih more clinical skills, like more ways to effectively deal with dystocias, bleeds, tears, babies with RDS, etc. As they are the primary caregivers of the majority of the pre and perinatal women of Mahatsinjo, attending virtually all births at home, improving and expanding clinical skills could definitely improve overall outcomes. So there will be an obstetric skills component, as well as discussions on nutrition, birth control, breastfeeding (many many babies die of diarrhea), etc..
If you’re interested in reading more about the organization formed by some of the midwives, mothers, and young women of Mahatsinjo, who are in communication with Karen about things they want to learn about birth and accomplish in their community, you can check out this link:
www.sadabe.org/taratra.html , which will explain things better than I have, as well as the other incredible things my friends do there.
This will be fascinating for me, as I always love observing the teaching of clinical skills. Not that I’d use them, but I do enjoy knowing more in detail about the things I observe in the hospital. I’m also very excited to learn about the midwives’ thoughts on birth, learning some of their traditional ways, and about some of the unique tricks of the trade they have to support women in labour. I want to connect for a time to their motherwit. Karen told me awhile ago that abdominal massage is often used to help treat infertility, which is a nifty trick indeed. I want to know what kinds of herbs they use to tell my herbalist friends about, what they do when a placenta is retained, etc.
There is a lot for everyone to gain. And of course, I get to hang out for a week with wonderful people in an amazing part of the world. Where we’ll be staying is on a camp from which the team Karen and Mitch work with do their research. There isn’t electricity. It is very rudimentary, but from what I’ve heard quite comfortable. We’ll be going in what is their winter, so it’s apparently lovely during the day, but cold enough to wear a fleece and a tuque at night. Because it’s high altitude and winter, the malaria possibility is very low, and a nice thing to know is that there are no man eating anythings, or poisonous crawlies. Sounds like heaven to me!
The plans are still tentative, as we need to make sure the polticial situation is stable, but the possibility looks greater all the time. Cross your fingers for us. This will be some good work. I promise to take tons of pictures.
by MotherWit | Mar 15, 2010 | Uncategorized
I used to turn down clients I didn’t feel I was a good fit with. I justified it by saying “well, they’ll probably get better care elsewhere.” But I’ve stopped doing that lately. I am trying to have the attitude of gratefully accepting those who really want to embark on this journey of birth with me. If someone doesn’t vibe with me and chooses not to work with me, great…I am so glad they are able to trust their instincts and look elsewhere for excellent care, which I will most certainly guide them towards if they ask. But in terms of clients approaching me, if they are very much into working with me, even if I have a few concerns about our connection, I will go for it.
The reason for this is because I think if I don’t feel like I click with someone, perhaps somewhere in me I am challenged by an unwillingness to stretch my capacity to surrender my attachment to “fun” births (births in which a woman is at least open to the idea of a natural birth). If a woman’s desires are so adamantly different from mine, my feeling trepidation about serving her may be reflecting a challenge I have of truly meeting her where she is at, which is fundamentally a doula’s job. I have learned that if I stick these situations out, I come to understand the excellent reasons why this mother is making these choices, and have come to respect and honour them even though they were not what I would have chosen. I think it took a long time for me to come to a place of trusting that a woman truly does know where she’s at and what she wants, even if it used to seem to me that she was just not “getting” my information. It also took a long time to not hold an ulterior motive and secret ego-based hope that in the throes of labour I can heroically support her so perfectly that she will eschew that epidural or induction.
How am I to know what is better for a lady; a natural birth full of love infused oxytocin and stoner endorphins (my faves), or a planned induction/epidural out of fear? Yes, we know on a physiological level the former choice is often healthier than the latter, but certainly not always. Women struggle with all kinds of different emotional challenges, and it is supremely important, in fact their sense of safety depends upon it, that they can whenever possible call the shots about their choices in childbirth and know they will be honoured. A GOOD birth, however that woman experiences good, is my goal. But as many of you senior doulas out there know, it’s not always easy to surrender your ego and serve from a place of true humility. Interestingly and blessedly, what I’ve found is that instead of feeling wounded by a ton of births in which people were stuck to ideals I initially thought were “misguided”, I have been enriched. I have witnessed first hand that many of the times I have secretly thought a woman was being overly neurotic about something or making unwise choices, she was actually being guided by very deep intuition. It has been so incredible to witness this.
On my plate right now are women struggling with some intensely difficult situations. This is what has come upon my path. I will be attending a birth soon of a disabled child who will be given up for adoption. Many would utter expressions of shock, but I cannot express to you how the path to this choice for this beautiful couple has been paved with hearts so full of such love and compassion, it moves me to tears. I feel so honoured to be part of this process, to hold the space for this couple to say hello, and then say goodbye, sending that child off with blessings for a wonderful life. I have seen so many things in my career I would perhaps have judged harshly from the outside until I have been involved with the people in the situations, seeing them walk in those shoes for a time. It becomes easy not to judge as the relationships I forge with my clients deepen, and grow into something strong and loving. When a doula can meet her clients’ issues and choices with unconditional love, drawing out her strengths and beauty, she is truly working from her heart.
The most beautiful thing a client ever said to me as I was hugging her “goodbye” after our last postpartum meeting was, “you’ve made me feel so loved.” She had had an induction, an incredibly long, difficult birth, and a C-section…she had worked with such grace and dignity and it had been nothing but an honour to tend to her. Knowing she had felt loved by my apprentice and me cemented to me how love is truly the cornerstone of our work. If there is any defining vehicle with which a doula serves her clients with the greatest clarity and integrity possible, it is love..
by MotherWit | Mar 12, 2010 | Uncategorized
I am very pleased to announce that four whole months before it even starts, the MotherWit Birth Doula Training is just about filled to capacity. Soon, all spots may be filled, some interviews still pending.
For all of you who really wanted to attend but couldn’t because you lived in let’s say Alaska or Timbuktu, don’t despair. I love to travel! If you are willing to host the MotherWit training in your area (hosting meaning setting up a suitable venue, helping us gather together a minimum of 10 participants, and letting us know about good accommodations, etc.), you get to train for free. Depending upon where you live, it will either be a six day intensive, or 2 three day workshops.
I offer apprenticeship here in Montreal, which I believe is a crucial aspect of growing into doulahood comfortably, and am beginning to set up a network in which experienced doulas can provide mentorship to novice doulas in their area, who so badly need to be shown the ropes of the local hospitals and witness firsthand, without the pressure to “perform”, the power amazing senior doula care has to potentially make a birth experience a great one. I believe mentorship, which I have been providing for years, is one of the missing links in increasing the confidence and skills of new doulas with nurturing support…doula-ing the doula, essentially. For trainings which don’t provide the opportunity for mentorship, it is not too hard to get it. You can network with known doulas in your area, and most will probably be quite happy to allow you to shadow them a little to their pre/post natal meetings and births. If it is not possible, asking your doula trainer how you can go about at least getting phone or skype support periodically is probably a good idea.
Women come to the path of birth attending from all different back-grounds, and there are many wonderful trainings out there to meet the needs of those who are inspired to do this work. I so honour the big organizations like DONA, CAPPA, ICEA, ALACE, etc., who have worked tirelessly to promote doula care on a global level, provide training and emphasise safe scopes of practice. To all of you who are involved in paving the way for doulas far and wide, thank you, thank you, thank you! You are creating the potential for better births, and this so vitally important! There are also more specialized trainings, like Hypno Birthing Doulas, Lamaze Doulas, Bradley method doulas, Birthing From Within Mentors, etc. There is so much richness for potential clients to choose from, and to know they will be well supported in their transition into parenthood within the context of support they desire is very reassuring indeed.
I think standards of practice can vary, providing a doula does not provide skills which are considered clinical (and could potentially harm a client). Many people have varying opinions on that, and really, since there is no licensing, as long as you follow the outlines of the organizations you’re associated with, there is room for variance among organizations.
I am just a small drop in the bucket. I’m just a woman who loves birth, got my doula training in a 2-3 day workshop like everyone else, committed myself to continuing my education through massage etc. to widen my knowledge base, and have been blessed enough to have been invited to hundreds of births. I feel I’ve learned and experienced enough to provide quite a thorough training, but I think it’s important for a doula, when deciding upon what training to embark upon, to follow her heart. She should choose what resonates most with her. Some prefer to be certified by a powerhouse of an organization, some like to learn a few extra skills along the way, and some like to go a little more grassroots. It’s all good. Just ensure you are being taught clearly what is inside and outside of a now pretty much universally accepted doula scope of practice, good knowledge about the process of birth and how to support it respectfully no matter what a client’s choice, a bit about how to put yourself out there in the world to get clients, and how to relate well to the primary caregivers you work with. It is an enriching path, and there is such a wealth of knowledge and support out there. HAVE FUN! It is the most amazing job in the world.
